Top Ten Wedding Planning Don'ts

Anyone who has been married before can tell you the things they would change if they had the opportunity to do it over again. They may not be able to take their own advice (unless they ARE planning on doing it over again) but you can certainly learn from their mistakes. It isn’t a bad idea to ask friends and family about the pros and cons of their weddings, however, we have compiled a list of Wedding Don’ts for your use as well.


10) Inviting more guests than your budget allows. This is so important! Many brides make this mistake and do not realize it until it is too late. Figure out what your catering and/or venue bill is going to be per person BEFORE you send out the invites.

9) Random invites. Unless you’re in possession of a fairy godmother or your parents are absolutely loaded, chances are you’re going to have a budget…and you’ll need a guest list to match. This may mean deciding between who needs to be invited to the wedding and reception and who really doesn’t. Difficult decisions will need to be made and every bride needs to consult with her family before making the final cut. That being said, do not let friends or family pressure you into inviting people you don’t really want at your wedding. It’s okay to humor them a bit but it is your wedding, after all, and you do have the ultimate say. Side note - a good rule of thumb is that if you or your soon-to-be-spouse haven’t talked to someone in a year or more, then their presence probably isn’t required at the wedding.

8) Choosing your wedding party. Another very tricky decision. We all have the best friends and the college roommates that absolutely MUST stand up with us but if you have a large group of friends, the rest may be hard to choose. Remember what you are asking of this select group of people. How much time and money will be required of them? Will you be able to depend on him or her? Keep these things in mind when you choose.

7) Too large of a wedding party. After you’ve thought about who you can depend on and who you really want to stand up with you at your wedding, think about how big you want your wedding party to be. Not only is it more difficult to manage a large wedding party, it is not very cost effective either. For the bridesmaids, it is expected that the bride and groom will pay for their bouquets which usually start at $35 a piece. Boutonnieres for the groomsmen are expected to be paid for as well.

6) Being inconsiderate of the wedding party. So you’ve FINALLY chosen your wedding party. These are your closest friends and family members and planning a wedding can be one of the most stressful times of your life. This can either be a good thing or a bad thing. It is important not to lean too much on your wedding party or to ask too much of them. You want them to remain your close friends and family, don’t you? Make sure you’re clear on what is expected of each person in regards to time and money. Don’t let the stresses of planning your wedding get in the way of your relationships.

5) The “Do-It-Yourself” Bride. Maybe you’ve always being a very hands-on and very in-control kind of gal. (We don’t know anyone like that at Details…Jami) You know what you want and how to go about doing it…you think. A wedding is a huge event to plan on your own, even if you have read all the books. It is okay, and sometimes even necessary, to let other people help you. Planning a wedding can be incredibly stressful as there are so many decisions to be made. If you’re absolutely certain that you don’t want to hire a wedding planner (something we tend to discourage), at least employ the help of friends and family to save yourself a little trouble and a few headaches.

4) Make your vendor sign a written contract. Few brides have ever made or negotiated a contract before. Many do not understand the importance of making a vendor complete a written contract. These are the people you’re counting on to make your special day so special. If you enter into a verbal contract with a vendor, what’s stopping them from calling you up a week or two before your wedding and canceling or telling you that your wedding day has been double booked? As with your wedding party, make sure your vendors know what is expected of them. (Although it’s probably not really necessary to make your best friend of 15 years sign a written agreement…in fact, it might be insulting.)

3) Not sticking to the budget. The budget. What a scary, demanding little word. Telling you you’re only allowed to spend so much on any one thing. However much we dislike “the budget”, it is there for a reason. Having a budget, and sticking to it, will prevent you from many a sleepless night. It is so important not to make decisions regarding it impulsively. Stick to the plan and everything will be okay.

2) Not letting the groom have a say. Okay, your wedding is YOUR dream day and as such, you’ve been dreaming about it since approximately the age of five. That’s great! Hopefully everyone around you recognizes this and will do what they can to make your dreams come true. Butttt…in planning your fairytale wedding, it is easy to forget one minor detail. Prince Charming. The poor guy worked so hard to woo you and finally worked up the guts to ask you to spend the rest of your life with him and here you are, leaving him out of his important day too! Let your man have a say in YOUR (plural use of the word) wedding.

1) Get a grip. Sound a bit harsh? We don’t mean it that way. In fact, we mean it in the nicest way possible. Yes, planning your wedding is stressful and yes, it is easy to get caught up in the details…the thousands and thousands of details. But try to remember the big picture. You’re planning your wedding day, the happiest day of your life. It may sound crazy but try to enjoy the process. Oh, and while you’re at it, try to enjoy your actual wedding day, too.

~Megan