What Your Guests Are Saying . . .

Everyone says it’s your day, and that’s correct, to a point. This is the day you are marrying your best friend which indeed makes it a very special event. So why are all these people here? Perhaps you’ve invited them to witness this significant occasion. Perhaps you’ve invited them to celebrate the moment with you. Either way, you’ve invited them, as in, you are the host.

As the host of any party you typically have several goals you are trying to achieve – you want to spend time with your guests, you want to interject a piece of yourself into the elements, and you want to entertain and please your guests.

Ah, so you never really thought about that last one as it pertains to your wedding day? Let’s step back and take a look at what your guests could be saying if the event is approached from the me, me, me vantage point.

• “My invitation was addressed to me ‘and guest’ even though they’ve known my boyfriend for 6 years!”
Make the effort to find out the guest's name and use it on the invitation and place card.  It's a thoughtful gesture that will not go unnoticed.

• “Our invitation came with a Macy’s registry card. It seemed like they were outright asking for a gift.”
This is just one great use of a wedding website.  Not only does it share directions, timelines, and other key information about your day, but it is also a more discreet way of sharing your bridal registry information.

• “I hate receiving lines. Who wants to wait in a long line to greet the one person you do know and 10 others you don’t?”
Consider the photo above - long lines, uncomfortable shoes, and a hot day - not exactly a combo for happy guests.

• “I don’t get delays between the ceremony and the reception. I’m dressed and I’m here, let’s keep this party movin’!”
This is your day and you want to drag it out and enjoy it as much as possible, however, your guests are busy and many do not enjoy having their whole day tied up to attend a function that in reality offers them only a few hours of entertainment and enjoyment.

• “I’ve been to receptions with a ‘social’ hour, but not cocktails or hors d’oeuvres offered. When you’re waiting and trying to mingle with people you don’t know, having something in your hand is a great way to occupy your hands and may even provide an ice breaker.”
Even if there is only an hour between ceremony and reception, it is much appreciated to be offered nibblers and beverages.  It does not have to be fancy or expensive, but it should be present.

• “If I see another 10 minute slideshow of the happy couple at age 3, I’m gonna throw-up.”
There are so many creative options for putting together a more fun video presentation as opposed to the old slideshow.  Also, the old KISS acronym (Keep It Short Stupid) is great advice here - 5 minutes or less is sufficient. Make it awesome and brief, leaving your guests wanting more, not yawning!

• “As a single person, I like table assignments. At least it makes me feel like the bride and groom have put some thought into who I might have interests with.”
Most people feel awkward walking into a room and sitting with a stranger as they do not want to impose.  While determining seating charts takes time and effort, you can almost hear an audible sigh of relieve when guests realize this stressor has been removed for them.

• “Give me limited options if you want, but offer those drinks free all night. I’m your guest.”
This is a touchy subject since it so significantly impacts the budget.  A good compromise is to offer certain drinks complementary so they have the option as to whether they want to purchase something different. It is not your responsibility to finance their drunken stupor!

• “It was a buffet. One buffet. For 250 guests. Can you guess my complaint?”
A real pet peeve of the Details' staff!  Your caterer may say that one buffet is sufficient but this is because it is easier on them to setup one buffet.  Don't fall for that.  No one wants to wait 25, 30, 45 minutes or more to eat or be interspersed with those who are already back up for seconds.

• “Dinner wasn’t served until 8pm!”
People get testy when they're hungry and it definitely puts a damper on the party vibe.  If you're going for elegant, spread out the courses, don't delay the whole meal.

• “The dollar dance seemed like a cheap ploy to drain your guests of cash.”
We agree.  What part of the dollar dance says "class"?
• “I was embarrassed for the bride. Who wants their maid-of-honor sharing information like that to all of your family and friends!”
Remind your wedding party and parents that this is a memorable event but that not all past memories need to be aired.  Fun stories can be shared, but embarrassment should be nixed.

• “I realize that music at a certain volume elicits people to dance, but it was way too loud. I couldn’t even talk to my partner!”
Grandma isn't the only one who is turned off by overly loud music.  A professional dj understands the appropriate volume to get guests on the floor and not out the door.

• “Nothing seemed organized. We waited on the wedding party to arrive, we waited to be served our food, we waited on speeches, then waited while they determined who would go first, we waited on the first dance, wait, wait, wait!”
Ah, another pet peeve!  Of course, we're planners so we really notice when an event does not flow well.  Your event timeline is critical to keeping your guests engaged which in turn creates a positive memory for them rather than chalking it up to another boring event.

• “They ran out of wedding cake. This is a huge hairy deal to me!”
Okay, so this is my personal quote and it really happened.  I admit that I'm a sweet-aholic and tolerate the main course only as it gets me closer to the cake.  Imagine what my husband had to listen to all night when wedding cake ran out before it got to the last 30-40 guests served.  Never run out of wedding cake!

So in planning YOUR day, remember to plan it from the vantage point of YOUR guests!