Wedding Etiquette for the Wedding Guest

As event planners, we're often coaching our clients in proper etiquette from the host's role, but boy do we frequently wish we could also enlighten the guests! So, here we go, right in our blog, with the basics of wedding guest courtesy. Please help us spread the wisdom by posting this link to your Facebook or ReTweeting!


You can't wear black. False. Black no longer represents mourning and instead has moved to the pinnacle of elegance and chic. Pair it with lovely pearls or a colorful scarf or sweater, if you'd like.


The bride is not the point person. True. Chatting with the bride during the planning process shows that you're excited for her, but as the day draws near do not contact her with your questions! The same is true for the wedding day. The bride should be able to relax and enjoy her day.


Shopping from the registry is impersonal. False. These are items the couple really needs or wants and they will be truly appreciative if you choose to gift these items.


Submit your RSVP quickly. True. The bride has to made commitments in regard to food and beverage totals, centerpieces, linens, placecards, and more based on how many and who is attending. Leaving your reply to the last minute causes undo stress. Responding after the deadline is down right rude as it cause the bride or her family to contact you to confirm your decision.


If there's no “Guest”, there's no guest. True. Each person who attends the wedding reception costs the couple a significant amount of money. While they may understand your desire to bring a date, it is simply not in the budget to include every single person's guest. This is true for children as well.


Don't make special dietary requests. True. While couples understand there are allergies and medical concerns, it becomes quite an ordeal for them to meet the dietary needs of every guests. It's one meal – prepare in advance for the fact you may not be able to enjoy the food that is graciously offered by your host.


Ditch the ceremony. False. The couple has determined that you are special enough to be a witness of a very special moment in their lives. Don't be rude and just come for the food and dancing.


If you arrive late, sit at the back of the church. False. Don't be late! Arrive at least 20 minutes prior to the ceremony. The ceremony is, well, ceremonial and late comers distract from the sanctity of the event.


Turn off your cell phone during the ceremony. True. Better yet, leave it in the car. Seriously, why on earth do you need to bring a cell phone (iPod, Gameboy, etc.) into a wedding ceremony? You are a very special person, but others can go on without you for 30-60 minutes.



Avoid taking photos during the ceremony. True. This could hamper the photographer or videographer's ability to capture those key images for which the client is paying big bucks. And, again, it is a distraction to the ceremony itself.


Buffets are made for pigging-out. False. This isn't the Golden Trough. While there should be extra food on a buffet to ensure that everyone has opportunity to enjoy the foods they choose, it is not meant to be an all-night feast. Ditto for the bar, buffet, and candy buffet.


Engage with others at your table, not just your date. True. This is a celebratory social event, enjoy! Who knows, you might just meet your new best friend – or your next girlfriend!


Leave without saying goodbye. False. The couple will want to thank you for your presence and we're hoping that you want to wish them well. Just don't monopolize their time. Keep it brief so other guests can engage them as well.


Pout if you do not receive a thank you note the following week. False. Wait two months, then it is fair to contact the bride and groom to ensure they received your gift. Please be tactful. Though the bride and groom should send thank you notes within two months, you don't want to make them feel horrible because they haven't tackled this task. (I bet you motivate them!)




Quiz – The Ultimate Wedding Question: 
Would you wear white or ivory as a wedding guest?